GideonChoi's Xanga

Hello Hockey Fans

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:32:44 GMT

Ok, let's see if this works...

My friend Danprime was the first to tell me about this contest called the "CBC Hockey Anthem Challenge". He told me the contest stems from CBC not being able to buy back the rights to the classic Hockey Night in Canada Theme (because CTV bought the rights for their hockey broadcast, or something like that). Since that time, I've seen the TV commercials and some friends here have also done some composing of their own to try to win "Bragging rights" and "$100 000".

So here's my first submission into the world of Hockey Anthems. Post comments on the Hockey Anthem Website if you like it!

Hello Hockey Fans

Did the Apostle Paul Enjoy Working?

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 06:07:12 GMT

Thank you Jonny and Michelle for a wonderful conversation on Thursday. It is such a blessing to come across kindred spirits like you two. I am grateful for your friendship. I am also thankful to God that He brought you home to London safely.

Michelle gave me some new perspective on the topic of work satisfaction. For a little while, I’ve suspected that my vocation should be something that I love, so if I feel like I’m dieing in my job, then I’m in the wrong profession. However, Michelle pointed out that the New Testament talks very little about work. Peter never mentions his fishing livelihood and Paul talks very little about the tent-making business he uses to support his missionary journeys. Perhaps even the super-apostles Peter and Paul themselves went about the drudgery of a “9 to 5” job even though their true passion was for apostleship and evangelism. Did they find their calling? I believe they did. Did they work in the area of their calling? Maybe not.

I won’t go so far as to say that God does not want us to enjoy the work He’s given us to do. The first task God gave to Adam was the work of tending the garden (Gen 2:5, 2:15). God made us to work. The writer of Ecclesiastes, in all his wisdom, proclaims that there’s nothing better for a man to do but rejoice in his work – his heritage (Ecc 3:22, 5:18-19). And Paul teaches that whatever we do (for work), do it as if you were doing it for God (Col 3:23). (However, Paul is talking about slaves in this context. Perhaps Paul doesn’t promote work-life satisfaction because how satisfying could being a slave really be? Hmm…)

One more interesting tidbit from our conversation was Jonny’s comment about fulfillment. God is glorified when His servants fulfill their earthly potential, but God can also be glorified when His servants don’t fulfill their earthly potential. If we take the example of writing, some people become famous (earthly standard) by writing a best-seller book. God is glorified because this author used his gift to bless the masses. However, sometimes there are equally intelligent and gifted people who choose not to become published and choose only to impact their smaller circle of influence. God is also glorified in the non-fulfillment of this person’s earthly potential because this person has chosen to remain in obscurity (again, an earthly standard). Jonny, am I representing your idea correctly?

I’m still contractless for September. But waiting on the Lord is not a bad place to be, I realize. I’m grateful for a chance to trust in His perfect provision (even though I have a tendency to be an anxious person). “Thank You Lord for giving me a summer where I don’t have to worry about class preparations. Instead, You’ve given me this time to read and grow in the art of teaching and in classroom management.”

At the Boundary

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 07:07:42 GMT

I had a fascinating conversation with Hobes2888 on Sunday about the nature of decision making for Christians. He referred to our lives being lived on the "boundary between the physical and the spiritual". For every big decision in our lives, there is a certain amount of spiritual discernment needed to find the "will of God", yet at the same time, there is personal effort necessary to carry out a decision. I often fear that my spiritual eyes aren't focussed very well and I miss my chance to partake of God's perfect leading in my life. However, maybe I have misunderstood God's permissive will. Perhaps He sometimes allows us to have the blessed privelege of choosing between multiple (good) options and allows us to act on them with using the reasoning He has blessed us with.

I'm readying myself for this struggle of ideas when and if I am offered a teaching contract for September. If I have reservations about the school, do I take the job or wait for another oppurtunity to come by? If I like the school, do I evaluate whether I really want to be a high school teacher in the first place? If no schools offer me a contract, does that invariably mean that God is leading me to walk away from high school teaching altogether? (Perhaps it means He is leading me to apply for music school...??) "Lord, I know that I lack discernment and that my spritual eyes can not always see what Your best will for my life is. Teach me Lord to listen to Your Spirit placed in me and to trust that Your Spirit has dominion (Rom 8:26-28) over my deceitful heart (Jer 17:9-10). Help me to know when to act according to the reason You have blessed me with and when to wait on Your specific leading in my life."

Thou Shalt Not Covet (Thine Own Raspberries)

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 06:49:05 GMT

We have a raspberry bush at my house that is producing quite a nice crop this year. I haven't eaten raspberries from this bush for a number of years - but that's becuase no one has bothered picking them. But there was a change of heart last Thursday and it was a result of a covetous human nature - here's how the story goes. My mom was pulling up to the driveway on Thursday and lo and behold, our next door nieghbour standing at the side driveway by one of our bushes. As my mom stepped out of the car, the neighbour said, "Oh, hello!" and then walked away with his hand cupped (probably full of raspberries - but she didn't get a good look at them). Slightly peeved, my mom thought to herself, "I'm not going to sit back and let my neighbour enjoy all my raspberries".

On Saturday, my mom served me some (sour) raspberries with vanilla ice cream. I like the combination. My mom doesn't care much for it. ("There's too many little seeds and they get stuck in your teeth"). On Saturday, I was outside picking raspberries. ("I'm not gonna let my neighbour enjoy all my raspberries")

Actually though, I don't mind if the neighbour takes some raspberries - there's definitely more than we can finish...

This story reminds me a bit about our "wrethchedness" because my sinful nature becomes so evident when I see how easy it is to begin to covet (my own stuff!). What I find interesting too is this equally strong opposite thought that says, I don't need to worry about the neighbour taking the berries because there's enough for him too. If I'm not already convinced that I am a sinner needing forgiveness , then these raspberries will help to convince me more. (Romans 7:7-21).

By the way, here's a really good dessert: raspberries mixed with vanilla ice cream and served with a slightly warmed up brownie from Safeway - mm-mm, so good! Warm with cold, sour wth sweet. Simple delights that make life sweet.

All this learnin' from a few sour raspberries.

Tonight, I'm indoors

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 00:58:08 GMT

Sun's low in the sky, shadows are long, wind is non-existent, there is only a slight chill in the air. And here I am indoors - doing work. Sigh... I love lazy spring evenings like this. I was outside for only a moment and I wished I could linger, just linger for another moment more. There was peace from anxiety there. If only I could bottle that moment and experience that moment later.
But the moment's about to fade away.

I should be outside just enjoying the spring evening for a while. But I already made up my mind much before that tonight is reserved for doing work. Wednesday I have parent-teacher interviews, and Thursday, I have small groups. Tonight (unfortunately) was the only evening for doing work. So I'm here enjoying the sunshine indoors. It's true that these types of evenings will come again, but that doesn't mask the sadness of seeing this evening passing away. It reminds me that I do need to have the discipline to not have activities happening every day of the week. Because what if an evening like this comes and then goes and I am only left with regret?

Sun's low in the sky. What a wonderfully lazy spring evening. It was a wonderful spring evening.

What Would Be

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 06:42:33 GMT

What would it be like if I knew what will happen in the future but am powerless to change it? Would it be better to know or not to know?

What would I do if I knew how long I would be at my current job? What if I knew there was a job opportunity lieing right ahead of me? Or what if I knew the next job I take will actually be worse than the one that I left?

What if, when I was single, I knew who I would date in the future? What if I knew when I would meet this person? What if I also knew about the lonely times I’d live through before meeting this person?

If I couldn't change the future, would I still want to know?

I was driving to church on Sunday Mar 5 and I was already late. The route from my home to the church crosses 5 traffic lights – 3 straight-through lights and 2 left turn lights. I happened to be pondering the question of knowing the future so I drew a parallel between life and driving. On the road, it is better to be able to see the road in front of me because I can then make better driving decisions. I reasoned that knowing what the future holds for our lives would help us make better decisions now about how we live and how we decide to spend our time. Even if we couldn't change the future, we could prepare ourselves for the future event.

The parallel didn't stop there though. That morning, I had the rare pleasure of just missing both of the left turn lights. It was annoying because I was already late and I knew that each light would add an extra 1 or 2 minutes to the driving time. (Substantial if it's only a 15 minute drive in total). But in the midst of being annoyed, I was struck with a realization that knowing the future would also produce this type of annoyance with God. On the road, even though I see the light turning green way in front of me, and red right in front of me, I'm powerless to change that. And even though I can't make the light change any faster, that doesn't stop me from getting annoyed that I'm stuck waiting for it.

Perhaps God does what's best for us by not telling us in full detail about what our future holds. Perhaps He knows that if we were aware of what's coming up, we would become angry and frustrated. Perhaps He also knew that it would tear down faith rather than build it up. He assures us that He works for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose. But if that's the case, I have to trust that the circumstance I'm living in right now is exactly where He wants me to be. We sometimes hold secret wishes that the future will be better than the present. But I think the lesson here is that the present situation is God's best for me right now. Would I benefit from knowing the future? Maybe a better question is would I benefit more by trusting Him in the present?

Must Love Tuesdays

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 04:06:48 GMT

There's something strange about Tuesdays at the school. We've had 5 this semester, and for some reason, things are just harder to manage on Tuesday (i.e. students are less attentive, more chatty, more distracted, etc.). Various explanations have crossed my mind - sugar highs, weekly hormonal cycles, school-wide conspiracy, alien influnece, X-factor - but none of them are fully satisfactory. However, in attempts to devise a comprehensive explanation for this "Tuesday Phenomenon", I have developed a number of plausible theories relating to this matter. What follows is brief abstract of these theories, presented for the purpose of your critique:

Secret Society Conspiracy Hypothesis
- I hypothesize the existence of a secret society ala Stonecutters notoriety (see Simpsons episode guide http://www.thesimpsons.com/episode_guide/0612.htm). In this society, the students have a charter describing on which days they will act up in class and for which teachers. Mr. Choi happens to fall on Tuesdays.
Circadian Rhythm Hypothesis
- Circadian rhythm refers to a human's normal 24-hour sleep/wake cycle and one of the controlling factors is the hormone action melatonin (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circadian_rhythm). I propose the existence of a much longer weekly circadian rhythm cycle which corresponds with the patterns of distraction/focus. Perhaps the students' periodic cycle has all become synchronized to a cycle of peak distraction on Day 2 (Tuesday).
Sifting of Wheat Hypothesis
- When Jesus told His disciples of His iminent death, Jesus said to Peter, "Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned strengthen your brethren" (see Luke 22). It is apparent that spiritual warfare is constantly happening and Satan does make requests of God to test His believers. Tuesdays are particular at our school because those are the days we do our high school chapel. Perhaps Satan tries to thwart the overall quality of Tuesdays for teachers and students because he hates it when God's children come together in worship of our Sovereign Lord.
Ready or Not Hypothesis
- Teaching must go on whether I am ready or not. For whatever reasons, Tuesdays happen to be days when I am more unprepared (maybe because the weekend is over and the second day of the week is less prepared than the first). If this hypothesis is true, then what is needed is more thoughtful preparation on Monday night to get ready for Tuesdays.

Personally, I think the first hypothesis has the most credibility . Happy Tuesday everyone. (Wednesday actually - see how bad Tuesday was? hehe)

Birthdays

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 00:02:48 GMT

So here I am, another year older. Did you do the math with my birth date? A teacher friend recommended that I should say my age is "3 cubed". (I'd get beat up if I was a high school student saying that. But now that I'm a teacher, I'll get a strained chuckle from those poor students I tell). It was pretty special because I had Happy Birthday sang to me 3 times that day! It leaves me thinking that it's not a bad idea to advertise your own birthday. I'm not a large proponent of broadcasting everything about myself, but there is something to be said about being able to celebrate things that are worth celebrating. So this year, when people decided to sing happy birthday, I had to forego the "aww shucks" embarrassment and enjoy the limelight instead for a bit - smile, ham up a little bit by conducting the choir of singers, and say thanks to these people who thought it important enough to celebrate the day I was born.

I actually liked this better than being embarrassed about my birthday. It's not bad to celebrate yourself sometimes. It's a reminder of God's constant provision and guidance in your life.

Counterfeit Blessing??

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 08:16:48 GMT

This dilemma started about 2 weeks ago even though it relates to a letter I got from Revenue Canada in September. Revenue Canada was doing their regular tax checks and they requested that I send in some charitable donation receipts (because I had done all my tax filing on line this year). So when I got the reassessment, I found out I had mistakenly sent a pledge form instead of a real receipt as one of the documents. That problem was easy to fix. I gathered all the right receipts the second time and mailed them off again. You can imagine my surprise when I got a rebate cheque from the government for 1300 dollars!!

There were two things that crossed my mind when I saw the cheque: 1) wow! what a beautiful blessing from God. Maybe God is blessing me because I've been faithful to Him in the little things. (still small voice: don't be boastful Gideon...) 2) this can't be right because I've already received my income tax rebate. I am sure there's a calculation error somewhere. So I asked myself and God: Am I entitled to keep the money even though I'm pretty sure it was sent to me in error? The Holy Spirit seemed to be saying no. That meant I would have to phone the tax office to tell them.

Inside I thought, "Well, maybe they will reward me for my honesty and let me keep the cheque". (In my mind, that was a large possibility because they would have a hard time tracking down a cheque. Also, this was a good plan because if they said I could keep it, my conscience would be cleared). This led to two interesting phone conversations. The first man was sure that Revenue Canada had not made a mistake, but because I insisted, he recommended that I go back into my Taxwiz program and reinput the numbers, and that was that. I followed his advice and sure enough, I saw that the charitable donations had been double inputted in the reassessment. So the second man I talked to recognized Revenue Canada's error almost right away. But now the problem was being unsure of how to proceed. He said to me, "We don't usually get calls from people saying the government has given them too much money." He recommended that I fill out a T1 adjustment form and either mail in my cheque with that form, or else deposit that money and then wait for the government to request it back again later. So that solves the problem right...?

I knew from the very beginning that the "right thing to do" was to phone the tax office to tell them of their mistake. So in deciding to phone the office, I was making the statement whether I got to keep the money or not I'd be content. My reaction turned out to be opposite. I actually surprised myself when I became disappointed with God that I couldn't keep the money. I thought that He's being so unreasonable, so unfair. I bargained with God saying, "This money could be put to such good use; What if I kept it and donated it to this or that organization; Why are You taking away a blessing that is so obviously from You?" Keeping the would have been an obvious undeserved blessing. But God chose not to work that way this time, so I became a bit confused.

I was reminded of Jesus's words, "So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6: 31-33). If I got to keep the money, it would be very evident how God is providing for "all these things" in my life. But because I don't get to keep the money, I think about all those other times God has been faithful in providing, even though I haven't given Him thanks for that. I *know* He is faithful, so it shouldn't matter that I need to return this money - God will still be faithful to me. I *know* He is faithful so I shouldn't question why He isn't using this money to help the poor - God can act on His own behalf, and He doesn't need this particular government cheque to do it. So this story has significance to me because it reminds me of God's faithfulness. Returning the cheque actually proclaims His faithfulness because I am saying that I trust God will provide even though I don't see the money in my hand right at this time.

But I think the lesson goes deeper than that.

Often we can get caught up in loving counterfeit blessings. This was evident when I was so disappointed in God that I couldn't keep the cheque. (The reasoning goes, "The money is such a good thing. Why are You withholding it from me?") The blessing is counterfeit though because we love the blessing and cling to the blessing without giving credit to the Giver of the blessing. We cling to this tangible thing we were given and fear that if it is taken away, then it means God has suddenly become unfaithful. In clinging to the counterfeit, we rob God from giving us true blessing. In this case, the true blessing is knowing that He is faithful in providing all things, even if I don't see it right now. If I love the counterfeit blessing, I rob myself of a chance to see God's unending faithfulness to me. I could love the good thing I have right now, but this will disregard the better thing that God will have in store later on.

There is still a small temptation to keep the cheque because the phone conversations happened just on Friday. But after writing this blog, I'm pretty sure I won't. Forgive my non-Chineseness in this case. I want to see God be faithful rather than cling onto a counterfeit sense of security.

Curtis

Fri, 17 Feb 2006 07:17:35 GMT

The following post is revised from a journal entry I wrote at the end of January:

I was introduced to Curtis yesterday. His name could have been anything, but his happened to be Curtis. I was introduced to him and his mom in the foyer before the service began. It was actually Pastor Genghis's mom that invited this family, but I was introduced because I was in the right place/right time. Curtis is a "good kid" (gwai dzai). I'm pretty sure he was at church only to keep his mom company. While I was talking with him, he kept on giving off an air of keeping a low profile, and then leaving quietly an hour later.

I realized that day that church goers have learned a certain "new to a church" etiquette. We don't find it strange to raise our hands at that "welcome to new-comers" part of the service, and we're not weirded out if strangers come and welcome us and want to make small talk with us. That's probably why I found it odd when Curtis did not want to engage in small talk. His answers to my questions were short and too the point, and he did not ask any questions to get to know who I was. And then, the awkward "any new comers?" question came (along with the disclaimer that you should only introduce yourself if you're comfortable). I wonder if new-comers antually anticipate that the whole service stops for them at that point when they raise their hand and are asked something like where they are from or who they came with. The chairman asked if they had come with me, but all I could do was shake my head and feel bad for the mom who did not speak loud enough for the chairman to hear.

The announcements were done apologizingly and there was no conviction that the things being announced are good and right things. The worship band must have been a foreign concept because they were not performing their own songs, and furthermore, asking the people to sing along. The sermon was good though. Dr. Clement Yeung (MD) was the guest speaker yesterday. The MD position gave him credibility. He talked about divine healing and was careful to keep God's sovereign character as the forefront of his message. I decided to ask Curtis what he thought of the speaker afterwards, and he said that it was "good". That's it. His mom asked me a few questions about where I work and where I was born as we were leaving, and then they left hastily, slipping out the door. I might bump into them once more, maybe, but I'm not sure. I'm doubting that they will continue to come.

"Lord, only You have the power to work in their hearts. Right now, I'm thinking that it's amazing that people new to the church would stay based on what they saw in the service. We are so much like an exclusive club. I wonder why You choose to use this broken vehicle. We have become so isolated from the world outside the church. We don't even expect that there will be outsiders who will be curious enough to look in. It would be great if they saw something authentic and life changing when they looked in. To actually be praising the sovereign God of the universe. To see people who put their human selfishness aside, praising God and giving Him glory in their whole life. What a difference this should make. What a difference this would make…"